Funnier Than You
An Interview with David Cross

By Chris Eng
November, 2002

Oh yeah, you think you’re witty. Your dad got up in your face the morning after you’d been out tossing back gin all night and screamed, “Where the hell have you been?! Are you drunk?!” And you looked back at him—calm, steely-eyed—and said without a hint of a smile, “No, I’ve been touring the night shift at a rubbing alcohol factory.” And despite (or perhaps because of) getting smacked around by your old man, you knew your were the king of incisive wit and sarcasm.

Well, let me tell, you—you just lost your throne, motherfucker. Even assuming that, by some amazing chance, you actually managed to be the wittiest fucking person on the planet—some Boys From Brazil lab-grown hyper-intelligent CHUD-like Oscar Wilde clone—you must realize that was only true in a world where David Cross hadn’t released a CD of standup comedy.

Because David Cross is funnier than you. He’s funnier, smarter and more in control of his shit than you can ever aspire to. He knows how to work political humour (with the acumen of Dennis Miller) and he knows when to take the piss out of rednecks (with far more vitriol than Jeff Foxworthy will ever contain in the course of his sad little life). He makes fun of Christians and Jews (with the matter-of-fact attitude of Lenny Bruce) and bends society over, pokes out its eye and skull-fucks it harder and with more joie de vivre than he ever put forth during his run on Mr. Show.

Shut Up You Fucking Baby! is the double-CD set documenting his tour across the US earlier this year—more than two hours worth of that learning that you don’t get in books; that old-school oral education in a dirty shotglass with a venom chaser. So, why two discs? Why not distill it into one and toss the dregs? Because it’s all gold, baby. The vitamin C-rich golden urine of David Cross pissing all over all of your sacred idols not because he had too much coffee, but because it’s funny.

So wipe it off and laugh, goddammit.

Is there a point where funny switches over into tasteless and from there switches back into really fucking hilarious?
Well, I don’t know if it switches back; it just goes further until it meets itself in a weird Moebius time-strip. But, yeah, there’s definitely a thick line between funny and tasteless and tasteless and funny, but that’s just a matter of relative taste, too.

Well, I found the whole Catholic Church bit on the CD really funny, but—
That’s just such obvious sarcasm, you know, and plus I’m also a card-carrying member of NAMBLA, so I feel differently than other people do. I’m not a member of NAMBLA; I just have their card. I hold their cards for them.

Playing cards?
Yeah, they’re playing cards. They’re pretty hot—I mean, if you like young boys.

There’s a long-standing tradition of in-your-face social commentary in comedy stretching back through Lenny Bruce to Bill Hicks and you, now. What do you think you can impart through comedy that you can’t get across any other way?
Well, it’s a way to be angry and palatable. Nobody’s going to pay money to see somebody rant and rave—“This is bullshit! This is bullshit!”—but [this is] what Jonathan Swift did; it’s what Voltaire did. It’s a way of dealing with something that’s inherently not funny, that people might find strident and self-righteous and then make it digestable.

Do you think, as a celebrity, you have some kind of social responsibility?
No. I think I, as a person, do. I don’t feel any kind of responsibility as a celebrity, except maybe to try to be more polite than I normally would be, or more tolerant of insensitive, stupid people. That’s it.

So, what do you see as the salient differences between the US and Canada?
Well, the maple syrup industry is the future for both countries. The main difference, I think, is that people are less uptight here. My experience is limited to Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver—I’ve never really been in the country or anything. I’m not that big a fan of Toronto, but I love Vancouver and I love Montreal. I really, really like those two places.

Funny, that’s what most Canadians who don’t live in Toronto say.
There’s not a lot going on there and it closes really early. I love Montreal for that—for its happening … cultural … heroin access.

And Vancouver for that too.
Yeah.

So, considering that much of your material is intentionally based on pushing boundaries, what do think the place of political correctness is in society?
I think it’s only apparent when people call it ‘political correctness,’ because I don’t really see that many examples of it anymore. I don’t consciously see it. It seems to be almost a trend, in a way, that’s dying down—at least the idea of calling somebody on their political correctness or incorrectness. But it’s manufactured; it’s fake; it’s not organic; it’s not real. So, as well-intentioned as it may be, it’s usually covering up something else that’s more important. I don’t know what that means, but I can’t wait to read this interview and find out.

Well, I’m sure that Mr. Show got called on its shit a few times.
I think everything we did was in the boundaries of being correct, if not politically correct. We didn’t pick on defenseless people, we picked on assholes—whether it was religious or big business or whatever.

Your track titles were hilarious and, appropriately enough, had nothing to do with the tracks. Is that coming from sheer disdain for the pithy titles that other comedians come up with?
Absolutely. Yeah, that’s it exactly. And they asked me about the track titles and it just occurred to me, “Oh, here’s another place for humour.” I could call it the real thing, but fuck that. Why would I do that? Extra bonus laughs! Before you even open the disc up; before you even pay for it or burn it!

Word on the street has it that you’re working on a Scientology comic.
Oh, yeah! It’s not a Scientology comic, but I was working with an artist who unfortunately is a little … crazy, and backed out of it and said he couldn’t do it, but the stuff he was drawing was amazing. I just have to find a different illustrator for it, but I have this whole story. It involves Scientology, but it’s not about Scientology.

Is that a big interest of yours?
I’m a little obsessed with it. I’ve a fascination with it that goes beyond interest, and it makes me angry in a way that other religions don’t, but it’s not a religion, so I shouldn’t even give it that credibility.

In what way does it make you angry?
Just that human beings are that susceptible to such absolute blatent nonsense, made-up fiction, garbage.

And the Bible too, for that matter?
Well, the Bible is also ridiculous but it’s less ridiculous than Scientology. That’s just crap.

The Bible at least has a couple thousand years of history behind it?
Yeah. I can understand believing in that way before believing in this science-fiction writer’s poorly-written, random, illogical stuff.

And since I’ve got you here, do you have any feelings on Bush and the latest push to take out Iraq?
It’s very disturbing and upsetting to me and, much like my feelings on Scientology and the Bible, it’s also very dismaying because of how manufactured all this stuff is. Especially knowing the history of manufaturing this kind of … it’s just, there’s nothing funny about it. It’s just really disturbing and awful and mean and selfish and … that’s it. Just really selfish. I wish I believed in Hell, because I believe he’d go to Hell.