G33K
by Chris Eng
September 15, 2005

D&D Marathon
(Your basement, this weekend)

So, your bro from back in the day is getting married—your bro who no longer drinks or does drugs, and has no real interest in strippers; your bro who you used to spend six to eight hours with every Sunday sitting around a table and rolling funny dice. What do you do for his bachelor party? You already know the answer: a marathon Dungeons & Dragons session.

This last Saturday pulled nine of us together from our old groups to sit in a… well, nice condo with… er, various platters of wraps (c’mon, it’s a bachelor party—we had to show him off nicely) in the interest of dusting off old character sheets and hitting evil elves on the head for several hours. As one of the original instigators of the gaming bug amongst my peers, I was saddled with the righteous and honourable duty of helming this game.

I’m not going to make analogies about gaming with old friends being like slipping under the sheets with old lovers—first, they’re my bros and that’s weird, and second, it’s D&D and equating it with sex is weird—but it was amazing to have all of us back in the same room again, with the same dynamics and interaction all over again. It was, for the sake of overusing a hoary cliché, just like old times.

Because you reach a point in your life when you start working a job with a schedule incompatible with your friends’, or they move away (or you do) and the gaming that seemed to happen so easily and naturally on a weekly basis just can’t sort itself out. And then you look up one day and realise that it’s been at least a couple of years since you pulled your Player’s Handbook off the shelf and you wonder where the time went. Yeah, I know this happens to everyone when they get old (okay, maybe not the PHB part), but it still sucks.

My point, I suppose, is this: if you enjoy gaming, play as much as you can whenever you can. Try to squeeze in a bit of a life around the edges, but enjoy yourself—the good times don’t often stick around forever. And for the old folks who find themselves passing the 30 year mark with long Dwarven beards and dice bags that haven’t seen conflict in a roc’s age, well, I’ve got one suggestion for you: get married; your bachelor party is as good an excuse as any to put the dungeon delvers back together for one massive, memorable kick at the can.

NEWS:

* Okay, cartoon news out the yin-yang this week. First up, three more years of South Park, whether you want it or not. Nope, Matt and Trey signed the deal—it’s done. Can’t hardly wait to see the New Orleans episode, though.
* Speaking of South Park, both it and Star Wars: Clone Wars won Emmys for outstanding animation. This is good because they both deserve to win; South Park is funny and Clone Wars is better than anything else that Lucas has attached his name to in the last, hm, twenty years. Considering the rest of the crap out there they could have given awards to, it’s always nice when the universe decides to show some justice.
* Graphic novels continue to prove themselves the shit, as their sales rose a massive 33% in the first half of 2005, compared to pamphlet-sized comics’ paltry 2%. The unexpectedly awesome showing by the graphic novels pushed comcs in total up by 7%. Dammmmn. Bookshelf collections in the hizzy.
* Microsoft has announced that it will be releasing seven different versions of Windows Vista in 2006. Let me reiterate that in case you missed it: Seven. Different. Versions. What’s the thinking here? That it’s better to have seven things that half-work than one that’s problem-free? “Well, you do the math,” says a slack-jawed Microsoft executive in my imagination. “That’s three and a half times better, isn’t it?” No, it isn’t.

JUST RELEASED:

If you feel the constant need to exact punishment on those around you, therapy’s always a good idea, but the collected Punisher Max Vol. 1 hardcover might be a way to cathartically get some of those frustrations out. Also on shelves this week: You Ain’t No Dancer Vol. 1—it’s filled with the superstars of indie comics and was edited by Vancouverite Ed Brisson. Those with a hunger for a new and not entirely bad take on a classic should check out the DVD release of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—it’s not as funny as the original but it does have Zooey Deschanel (mmmm… Zooey Deschanel). G33ks who need their TV fix on DVD are advised to seek out the Krofft classic Sigmund and the Sea Monster: The Complete First Season and the more recent Smallville: The Complete Fourth Season. And the ultimate in stress relief has just improved itself on both the Xbox and PS2 with Burnout Revenge—after-work decompression is always better when you’re forcing other motorists off the road with a ‘70s muscle car. Vroom.