Well, it’s almost 2007 and everyone is doing their annual rundowns, so I suppose I should do mine, too.

I got married.

And that sums it up in many ways. I got married and it was awesome. A couple of writing projects fell through and I didn’t get as much personal work done as I wanted; I got hired at the book store and that was pretty great, but really, it’s the marryin’ part that’s going to stand out in looks back.

Yeah, there’s been some ups and downs in 2006. I met some good people at a short-lived and otherwise shitty job (Kelly, Miranda, Andrew, Christa — I’m talkin’ to you). After several years, I finally moved into a place that feels like my home (sure, I live here with my wife, but you know what I mean). Mrs. C quit her shitty job and immediately found a new and rad one (which, although it takes up much of her time and energy, has been beneficial to both of our states of mind). Sleater-Kinney broke up (and even though I don’t know any of them personally, it still sucks). We got a new book in the Song of Ice and Fire series (I know that’s not supposed to be a rare and spectacular occurence, but it still kinda is). I saw the last of my hometown crew get married (with me as the best man, which was pretty neat). The Mrs. and I started doing adult stuff like sorting out our RRSPs (which is still really weird).

So now we’re hanging out and waiting for the year to roll over. We’ve got Shogun Assassin, Meaning of Life and Buckaroo Banzai on DVD, a bunch of hummous and pita, and J is going to stop by soon with some single malt scotch. Low-key; good times. That’s about the best way I can think of to ring out a definitely interesting year and ring in one with an infinite amount of promise.

Howdy, 2007. Stop in and stay a while.

Well, I’m back from my whirlwind tour of my hometown, spending three days and nights trying to shoehorn in seeing most everyone near and dear to me while still retaining a semblance of my sanity. I think I did all right. Well, I fit in two turkey dinners and survived a storm-tossed ferry ride and a near stranding in Tsawassen (THANK YOU AGAIN for the timely rescue, Lisa and Chris).

Still, I could blahblahblah about boat mishap minutiae all day. What you want to know is what my Top Three Christmas Presents for 2006 are, and who am I to deny that to you?

Counting down!

3) Ubuntu Linux for Non-Geeks:

Just FYI, there is no way on God’s green earth I’m installing Vista on my box. I’m okay with XP; XP is fine, but Vista is a deal-breaker. In anticipation of the proliferation of The Unusable OS I’m transitioning now. Besides, there’s next to nothing you can do on Windows that you can’t do on Linux (and less that I need to do), and I am all about the freeware.

(BTW, I am very aware of the ironic title of the book, but I’m not the computer g33k I used to be. I did indeed used to program text adventures in BASIC, but that was a few years ago. My UNIX haxxoring skills are a little deficient. I am heading back into the dojo to start from scratch.)

2) Twitch City:

This is probably the best show to ever have aired on TV. Ever. It was generated from pure Raditude isotopes, and the fact that it stars Don McKellar (The Red Violin, eXistenZ), Molly Parker (Deadwood, Kissed) and Callum Keith Rennie (Battlestar Galactica, Hard Core Logo), and was directed by Bruce McDonald (Hard Core Logo, Highway 61) only adds to its amazing awesomeness. I’d been waiting for this to get a wide release since it first appeared… and nine years later it appears my wish has finally come true. I don’t know how it happened or why it took this long, but thank you Santa for this Christmas miracle.

1) Furry Ramone:

When you get married, it’s important, on a very basic level, that your spouse should understand you and get what you’re about. Look at the picture below and realize that my wife gets me.

 
Finally, as an aside, Billy the Kid left me a nice note while I was gone. I used to see her play all the time when she lived on the West Side of the country, and her shows were an awesome excuse to rock out, but since she headed out East to find her (inevitable) fame and fortune I don’t rock as hard anymore. Which is all a way of saying that Billy is rad and you should visit her on the ‘net. Hi, Billy.

It may not cost a lot, but Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake have the right idea about seasonal gifts… and it’s mine to you.

Life Sucks: You know, if all history were taught as awesomely as Ren running down the Children’s Crusade for Stimpy, then high school would be a lot cooler and more interesting place. This isn’t so much the fault of the teachers as it is the fact that our institutional learning facilities don’t celebrate kids dying at the hands of Saracens. (via BoingBoing)
Unsuggester: Much like Neil Gaiman, I find LibraryThing’s Unsuggester to be totally mesmerising. It’s good to know that since I own Lovecraft’s Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror and the Macabre I shouldn’t buy The Notebook or How to Read the Bible for All It’s Worth. Also, if you own Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, you probably won’t enjoy Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Replica Alliance Currency: You can’t spend it, but you’ll look more stylish (or perhaps terminally g33ky) if you carry around a wad of replica Alliance currency from Serenity. It’s what Captain Tightpants would do.
Gez Fry: He does nice art. Go look.

I’d be the first to admit that cranking Zep while writing about Vikings is some kind of horrible cliche (you know, “Immigrant Song” and all), but it’s still hard to discount the fact that listening to “Heartbreaker”, “Living Loving Maid”, “Ramble On” and “Moby Dick” in a row cultivates a pretty kickass mood.

Hammer of the gods, indeed.

After watching this video, where Motörhead teams up with Girlschool to cover a classic ’50s rock tune, I’m convinced I’ve seen the true face of God.

Hallelujah.

Yugh. I’ve been sick for the past week and a half with the flu/head cold that’s been going around. It’s knocked me on my ass, made me stupid and generally rendered me unable to do much of anything but watch a season and a half of How I Met Your Mother.

Well, that and play Nintendo DS, since we bought one a week or two back. Yes, now I can lie on the couch and play Tetris and Brain Age and Big Brain Academy and New Super Mario Brothers for hours. Because, er, I’m exercising my brain by playing them. Okay, a couple of them. Well, the two I don’t really use since we picked up Tetris and Mario. Still, the potential mental exercise I’m getting from them is staggering. It’s like Brainiac 5 is riding my sofa.

Anyway, since I don’t have anything of much interest to say, I’m just going to throw a few links at you. Enjoy.

Minus: This is the most amazing webcomic I’ve seen in ages. Fully painted and scanned in, Minus manages to be hauntingly beautiful, funny and sublime all at once. I don’t want to talk about it too much because that might chip away at its potency, but I will offer the link to my favourite strip. That last panel contains more amazing resonance than three quarters of the internet rolled up into a big ugly ball.
Jeff Millner’s Backmasking Site: If you ever wondered how Zep managed to write such powerful, evocative and enduring tunes, it’s because they made a pact with Satan… and he took them out to his little toolshed. It’s all right there in the songs, man, if you’d ever bothered to really listen to them. Sad Satan.
Preacher TV Series: The news is a couple of weeks old, but I presume there’s still a few people out there that aren’t aware that Garth Ennis’s comic Preacher is getting adapted for TV. HBO is producing it, which is great, but it’s being scripted by the writer of Daredevil and Ghost Rider and directed by the man responsible for Grumpier Old Men and The Whole Ten Yards, which is terrifying. Maybe it will all even out in the end. Maybe.
Rachell Sumpter: Art is good. And happy Sami people are awesome.

And finally, if you’re addicted like I am to the love-lorn antics of those wacky kids in How I Met Your Mother, you might want to get this shirt (only available until the end of December!) or check out this Myspace page. Is it wrong that I want to rock Robin Sparkle’s body ’til Canada Day?

1) 300
2) Get Lamp
3) Spider-Man 3
4) Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix
5) Nerdcore

Oh, God-fucking-DAMMIT.

Let me explain.

I’ve been a fan of Bernard Cornwell’s books for a couple of years now. I started watching the Sharpe movies (based on his Napoleonic era novels and starring Sean Bean) and after that it was all downhill from there (or uphill, considering he’d written a few dozen novels I could peruse with fresh eyes). He’s a brilliant author whose flair for conjuring vivid historic battle sequences (set in a variety of time periods) is unparalleled in my experience. Yes, he’s that good.

About a month or so ago I finally got a copy of Lords of the North the third novel in his new “Alfred the Great” series. I’d read the first book, The Last Kingdom, couple of years ago (it was actually the first of Cornwell’s books I read), but because it was amazing I wanted to wait until they were done before ploughing through all of them. I’d rather wait an extra year or two to read them all at once than sit biting my nails waiting for the next installment to come out.

So, a week or two ago, I sat down and proceeded to consume all three with terrifying speed and intensity. In all honesty, this is the first book series I’ve read in several years (probably since George R.R. Martin’s “Song of Ice and Fire” books) that I’ve forsaken sleep over, staying up until four or five in the vain attempt to “get my fix.”

Basically, the story, set in the late ninth century, is about Uhtred, heir to Bebbanburg, a fort on the Northumbrian coast (just south of Scotland). His father is killed in battle and he is taken by the Danes (who might improperly be called Vikings) and raised as one of them. He grows to become a man and finds he is not entirely sure where his allegiances lie (even though he is a Saxon, he has no love for them, and he loves his abductor Earl Ragnar as a father), and also finds that his destiny will lead him back and forth across England, always somehow intersecting with the destiny of the man who will become known as Alfred the Great.

Right. So, I made it to The Lords of the North a day or so ago, stayed up extremely late last night reading it and spent every spare moment today engrossed in its pages, trying to get to the end of the trilogy. Because it is a trilogy, right? WRONG. I don’t know where I got that idea from, but not only does it not wrap up neatly at the end of the third volume, not only is it not a trilogy, it’s a full-blown ongoing series.

And that is, I suppose, awesome, because they really are amazing books. But on the other hand:

FUCKING SHIT WHORE GODDAMMIT!

I need closure! Though I’m not going to get it anytime soon.

But at least I have something to look forward to now, other than Martin’s quasi-imaginary, I’ll-believe-it-when-I-see-it A Dance of Dragons. And ultimately, more books filled to the brim with full-on Danish badassery are always welcome.